Friday, January 14, 2005
Tenses and punctuation and spelling... oh my!
Title: Half Blood Princess
Fandom: Harry Potter
Author: LP Hybrid28
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2158584/1/
Feedback given:
Before posting more of your story, it would be best if you proofread your work more and used the assistance of a beta-reader to further polish the rough spots.
Pick one tense (past, present, etc) and stick with it. It's confusing, not to mention incorrect, to shift tenses like you have done.
Spelling is important, as is choosing the correct word to use. While 'names' is a correctly spelled word, it is not the right word. A person is not 'names', but 'named'.
Using a spell-check program is always a good idea, but proofreading your own work will catch little things like the 'names'/'named' error. And if you do not have a spell check program, one is available on-line at www.spellcheck.net.
Punctuation is also important. Improper usage, or lack of usage, renders a story confusing and unreadable.
Here are your first two sentences as written:
"A beautiful witch names Alexia, roamed the earth she traveled far and wide fighting off the dark forces. She spent much time in Romania, while in Romania she got more than she ever would have expected...."
Instead, try:
"A beautiful witch named Alexia roamed the Earth. She traveled far and wide, fighting off dark forces of evil. Much of her time was spent in Romania, where she encountered more than she ever would have expected...
This example is not perfect, but it shows how you can improve the flow by using punctuation (and a few word changes).
When indicating speech, punctuation must still be used.
" "Geez mum you act like the train has started moving" Carmilla said. " – A comma is required after 'moving' and before the closing quotation mark.
" "I just don't want you to be late" "- In this case, a period is required after 'late' and before the closing quotation mark.
".. how to handle myself." Carmilla said reassuringly. " - Here, the period after 'myself' should instead be a comma.
There are many on-line tutorials to assist with punctuation, or your local library will have books available.
No one expects perfection, however a writer should always do their best to ensure the work posted is as free from errors as possible.
Multiple errors can cause a number of potential readers to abandon your story and no writer desires that. Readers will also, fairly or not, form an opinion about a writer based on what has been written and how. If a story has many errors, come readers may assume the writer does not care about their work and label said writer as ignorant and uneducated. No writer truly wants that.
If you cannot, or will not, take the time to edit your work then do not post anything further. Harry Potter is overrun with poorly written, slap-dash stories – don't add to it. Instead, stand out from the crowd by posting something well written and coherent. Readers will thank you for it.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Author: LP Hybrid28
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2158584/1/
Feedback given:
Before posting more of your story, it would be best if you proofread your work more and used the assistance of a beta-reader to further polish the rough spots.
Pick one tense (past, present, etc) and stick with it. It's confusing, not to mention incorrect, to shift tenses like you have done.
Spelling is important, as is choosing the correct word to use. While 'names' is a correctly spelled word, it is not the right word. A person is not 'names', but 'named'.
Using a spell-check program is always a good idea, but proofreading your own work will catch little things like the 'names'/'named' error. And if you do not have a spell check program, one is available on-line at www.spellcheck.net.
Punctuation is also important. Improper usage, or lack of usage, renders a story confusing and unreadable.
Here are your first two sentences as written:
"A beautiful witch names Alexia, roamed the earth she traveled far and wide fighting off the dark forces. She spent much time in Romania, while in Romania she got more than she ever would have expected...."
Instead, try:
"A beautiful witch named Alexia roamed the Earth. She traveled far and wide, fighting off dark forces of evil. Much of her time was spent in Romania, where she encountered more than she ever would have expected...
This example is not perfect, but it shows how you can improve the flow by using punctuation (and a few word changes).
When indicating speech, punctuation must still be used.
" "Geez mum you act like the train has started moving" Carmilla said. " – A comma is required after 'moving' and before the closing quotation mark.
" "I just don't want you to be late" "- In this case, a period is required after 'late' and before the closing quotation mark.
".. how to handle myself." Carmilla said reassuringly. " - Here, the period after 'myself' should instead be a comma.
There are many on-line tutorials to assist with punctuation, or your local library will have books available.
No one expects perfection, however a writer should always do their best to ensure the work posted is as free from errors as possible.
Multiple errors can cause a number of potential readers to abandon your story and no writer desires that. Readers will also, fairly or not, form an opinion about a writer based on what has been written and how. If a story has many errors, come readers may assume the writer does not care about their work and label said writer as ignorant and uneducated. No writer truly wants that.
If you cannot, or will not, take the time to edit your work then do not post anything further. Harry Potter is overrun with poorly written, slap-dash stories – don't add to it. Instead, stand out from the crowd by posting something well written and coherent. Readers will thank you for it.
# posted by hellsbit_ch @ 2:53 PM 
