Monday, January 24, 2005
A fine example of how to fuse eyeballs
Title: This might get ugly!
Fandom: Wolf's Rain
Author: toboe's-1-fan
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2231787/1/
Feedback given:
First, and foremost, you need to review the basics of writing.
Each time a new person speaks, a new line is to be used. Cramming multiple speakers into the same paragraph, apart from flat-out wrong, is confusing and makes a reader's eyeballs fuse.
Your punctuation is atrocious. Contracted words always require an apostrophe. This is not an optional but required.
- Don't is the contracted form of do not. Your version, dont, is incorrect.
- We're is the contracted form of we are. Were, your version of 'we're', is a totally different word.
Quotation marks are always to be used around speech elements. Failing to do so makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to tell where and when a character is actually speaking.
Spelling and using the right word matters. Learn the differences between their, there and they're. Each of these words have different meaning and are not interchangeable.
Giving one of your original characters the same name as a canon character is never a good idea. At least, I assume Blue is one of your original characters since she's not even close to the canon character.
The prelude to the fight reads like a school yard incident with small children and the actual fight itself is not believable.
Run your work through a spell-check program. Nearly all word processing programs come with one built-in. If yours does not have this feature, visit spellcheck.net for an on-line version.
Proofread your story before posting it and, if possible, have someone else do the same. Many errors can be corrected by doing this simple task.
Wolf's Rain already has more that its fair share of poorly written fan fiction. Please don't add more to this fandom.
[Edit] Story removed
Fandom: Wolf's Rain
Author: toboe's-1-fan
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2231787/1/
Feedback given:
First, and foremost, you need to review the basics of writing.
Each time a new person speaks, a new line is to be used. Cramming multiple speakers into the same paragraph, apart from flat-out wrong, is confusing and makes a reader's eyeballs fuse.
Your punctuation is atrocious. Contracted words always require an apostrophe. This is not an optional but required.
- Don't is the contracted form of do not. Your version, dont, is incorrect.
- We're is the contracted form of we are. Were, your version of 'we're', is a totally different word.
Quotation marks are always to be used around speech elements. Failing to do so makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to tell where and when a character is actually speaking.
Spelling and using the right word matters. Learn the differences between their, there and they're. Each of these words have different meaning and are not interchangeable.
Giving one of your original characters the same name as a canon character is never a good idea. At least, I assume Blue is one of your original characters since she's not even close to the canon character.
The prelude to the fight reads like a school yard incident with small children and the actual fight itself is not believable.
Run your work through a spell-check program. Nearly all word processing programs come with one built-in. If yours does not have this feature, visit spellcheck.net for an on-line version.
Proofread your story before posting it and, if possible, have someone else do the same. Many errors can be corrected by doing this simple task.
Wolf's Rain already has more that its fair share of poorly written fan fiction. Please don't add more to this fandom.
[Edit] Story removed
# posted by hellsbit_ch @ 1:18 PM 
